Sunday, October 21, 2012

Teaching an Old Dog Technology Tricks



Every month, the First Presbyterian Church in New York City’s Greenwich Village hosts a technology seminar to educate the community’s older residents about the wireless innovations their youthful counterparts grotesquely cuddle each night.
As modernity wars with tradition, the attendees balance their aversion to technology with a true terror of obsoleteness.  Reactions to the seminar are chuckle-provoking:

“I think it’s going to end badly, this lack of contact in the world.”

“People say, ‘What if there’s an emergency?’  I say, ‘There’s nine people around me who have one.’  I’ve never had that emergency, and neither have they.” [Smartphones]

“I’ve seen children neglected,” she added darkly. “I’ve seen friends neglected.” [Not being connected]

“The worst is not knowing what it is, not knowing how to get there, and knowing that everyone around you is completely hooked in.”

‘“Has anybody heard of Angry Birds?”  he asked.  Murmurs followed.  Not one hand went up.’
“I’m too old to understand this, but I think it’s great.”

“They could put a bomb on your head anytime,” he said. Who could? “Your enemies,” he replied. “Your slobbering enemies.” [Smartphone tracking technologies]

“It was fascinating…but it’s not my generation, so I didn’t know what he was talking about half the time.”

What does this article tell me?  First, I am sixty years too young for my own good.  Second, the elderly generation reaffirms their wisdom often.  In particular, the sassy woman who pairs an aversion to technology with social disownment is decidedly astute.  She understands that, if you do not connect wirelessly, you cannot connect socially.

As a nation, we have discarded phone calls and snail mail, the only forms of communication familiar to our oldest generations.  What is left of tradition?  Very little.  What choices do we leave holdouts?

The obstinate few who maintain their wired ways must either suffer isolation or cultivate friendships with the local Best Buy staff.

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